Hadriel IC Inbox

[claritatis]

"You've reached Ignis Scientia. Leave a message and I will endeavour to get back to you post-haste."

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[claritatis]

[This, in all honesty, is always more about the time spent together than what they end up eating. Ignis laces his fingers lightly between hers as they move out from beneath one tree and under the next, his attention half in the branches and half on the woman walking beside him.]

How is the clinic?

[Idle small talk. There's more to what he's asking than the question.]

[claritatis]

[He'll let the poor choice of words pass to one side. Now isn't the time for the pun he might have made of it. There's a reason to tell her this now - worrying her over something she would never have to be concerned with isn't the driving force - and he looks down at their joined hands before he quietly goes on.]

I've been aware of it for some time. I didn't know how to tell you, I...

[Isn't it funny? A man of such education and fine words as he had no idea of how to express such a thing to someone he cares so much about. His jaw tenses briefly, fingers squeezing over hers. Measuring his words is difficult under such conditions.]

... I know that I might come back here after it happens.

[dedikated]

( How do you find the words for such a thing? Do such words even exist? Kate couldn't find them if they were, but then, she can't find the words for far simpler things all too often. Her fingers tighten around his hands automatically, a silent plea of not yet, he's not allowed to leave yet.

The first noise to escape her lips is a laugh, a soft and humourless one, because that's exactly the kind of bullshit Hadriel would pull. She nearly says as much, but catches herself at the last minute, her grip loosening on his hands slightly, enough to allow her fingertips to stroke the skin underneath. )

I'll still be here. ( Kate pauses. ) As long as the Door doesn't change its mind.

[dedikated]

( True enough, when her gaze so easily wanders from the trees (a stop at something growing bananas in a bright orange skin because they're actually really nice) to him as they wander the rows and rows of trees. )

Not bad, despite everything. ( They're busy, because of the state of the city with the monsters and the rubble, and they've had better months on supplies, but it's not so desperate a situation that they're facing catastrophe. ) We're surviving.

[claritatis]

[He's already had another unspoken question more an answered. Would it bother her, or change anything between them? Everything tells him that the answer to that question would be 'no' (or, potentially, 'don't say such a stupid thing, Ignis'), despite the way he can't help but feel at the moment.]

I... sincerely hope it doesn't. [And is that selfish, he wonders, though if it is he certainly doesn't feel guilty about it.]

I already know a great deal that I shouldn't. [Ignis mutters, shaking his head.] But it's a comfort that nothing would change between us.

[claritatis]

[The fruits pretending to be bananas look interesting enough, and he'll pause below that tree without complaint, reaching a few down for the both of them.]

I suppose things could be worse.

[They could be in the middle of a war zone, injured and half-starved, waiting for it to end. Again.]

But 'surviving' is low bar.

[dedikated]

( Definitely the second one. It's hard to be certain, because she doesn't know how being blind will change him - not physically, that's obvious. But everything else. How would he react to such a thing? She likes to think he'd fight, that he'd stay the same person he is or close to it, but she could be wrong. They don't know. She imagines Ignis doesn't know the answer to that any more than she does. )

I hope not.

( She admits. She can only hope that it doesn't. That they weather the storm together. )

[dedikated]

( A shrug as she takes a bite of her fruit, chews and swallows. Still good. )

All we've ever done here.

( Hadriel is pretty much the definition of low bar standards. )

[claritatis]

All?

[Is that so? He looks ever so slightly surprised to hear her say that as he looks down at her, but rather than immediately challenge it he plants a kiss on her forehead and shifts away to lean against the trunk of the tree.

The heat of the day is still uncomfortably oppressive, and he hates it, but it's a little better in the shade.]

I see.

[claritatis]

[That's one thing he doesn't know, either. Noctis - the elder one - and himself never got the chance to go into that. He doesn't know how it will affect him and what kind of person he will be afterwards, save that he will not stop fighting.

Ignis squeezes her hands, still troubled but more quietly so. It presses on him like a weight but one that, at least right now, he can bear.]

Are you going to be alright?

[dedikated]

( Just because he doesn't challenge it doesn't mean she can't hear it in the tone of his voice or see it in the way he moves. They spend too much time together for her to miss those. )

... What?

( Surviving is the bulk of what they do, after all. )

[dedikated]

( It's one of those moments, the ones that come rarely now, where she remembers just how young Ignis is, despite all behaviour pointing to the contrary. He's in his early 20s, barely (if at all) older than she was when she left The Agency, and this future has to weigh on him. He should be worrying about normal things, like paying rent or the workload at his job. Not... this.

Kate simply looks at him for a long, quiet moment, as though trying to memorise the exact colour of his eyes and the light and life that's normally there. As though doing so will prevent the decay of time or the Door's erasure of her memory, should it happen. )

Yeah. ( She'll have to be. There's nothing Kate can do about this, not by a long shot. Even if she affected the Door, somehow, how would it be better to keep him where he isn't supposed to be? ) ...Eventually.

( For now, she needs to process it. )

[claritatis]

Mm, nothing.

[He takes his time with a mouthful of fruit before he speaks again.]

It's only surprising to hear that 'just surviving' is all that it boils down to for you.

[dedikated]

( She looks at him for a moment, uncertain of what to say to that. Nothing that's come out of Hadriel for her has been intended, and much of it has been a welcome surprise, but all the same... it's a bonus, really. )

Low expectations of this place. ( A shrug. Can anyone really blame her when they've been dragged here without any knowledge or acceptance of it, tossed into the middle of a war they never signed up for? ) Stops me being disappointed.

( And makes things like this all the more pleasant and treasured. )

[claritatis]

[Again, he takes his time in replying. He looks at her like it's an appraisal, as if he's considering something that he hadn't thought of before, all carefully concealed but hanging between them regardless.]

I think... we can do more than just survive. [He says, expressing a level of optimism about the place that isn't common to him.] In the small things. What we choose to make of our lives here.

[Such as they are, for as long as they last.]

If all I did here was survive, I wouldn't have you.

[claritatis]

[Ignis has never had the luxury of being able to worry about normal things. From the age of six, he was never afforded that, and the things that he has to concern himself with in Hadriel are still not as pressing as those he will have to consider when he returns to Eos.

He sits quietly under her scrutiny, his eyes never leaving hers as if he knows what she's doing. At the same time, he look at her, trying to hold her face in his memory.]

I should have told you sooner. [His fingers press lightly around hers again.] I didn't want you to have to worry about it.

[dedikated]

You should have. ( She echoes it firmly, the words almost sounding like a scolding as they roll from her tongue. ) I... want to know these things.

( Knowing that she can't do anything about it hurts, because Kate has an almost compulsive need to try and save those she cares about. To protect them. But she would rather know this. She would rather he wasn't staring down the dread of his future alone. )

[claritatis]

[He takes the admonishment elegantly, ducking his head slightly and subtly clearing his throat. It's about as chagrined as she'll ever see him look, but he doesn't let go of her hands in the meantime.]

I'll keep that in mind. [Ignis murmurs. They love each other. They should be able to talk about anything. It's not that simple, because it never is, but in the ideal world...

He looks up at her, apologetic.]

[dedikated]

( She hopes he does, as well. Doesn't even consider the fact that she should be heeding her own words as well.

For now, that guilt is a light hum instead of a screaming bird, and it's easy for Kate to distract herself by pressing a kiss to his lips, hand curled around the side of his neck as she pulls them both down onto the bed. )

[dedikated]

( That... actually makes her smile, small though the expression is. He's not wrong, and she was - in her own way - agreeing. They've managed a lot more than just surviving here. She just... likes to remain guarded, she supposes. )

... That was my plan. First time I got here. Just... stay alive and find a way out. Thought the people saying it were impossible just... weren't trying hard enough. Or they were just human. ( Kate shrugs, casually as she can while recalling memories that have aged and been jumbled in the mess of leaving and returning. )

Was a stupid mindset.

[claritatis]

I won't disagree.

[Because it is, and just giving up has never been something that Ignis has been good at. Settling for 'just enough' is a state of mind he would hope never to find himself in.

He mimics her shrug, a small smile along with it.]

There may be a way out, but we'd miss out on a great deal by focusing on nothing but that.

[dedikated]

( It's also one she hopes he never has to deal with. It still poisons her thoughts from time to time, evidently, even after years of reasons to think more of life. It's easy enough to call realistic, but is it truly that?

Kate isn't sure it is any more.

But for now, she clears her throat, pulls her eyes away from studying the fine changes in his expression, and holds onto the warm weight which seems to fill her chest. )

S'pose so.

( The fine art of understatement. )

text;

[nascere]

ig,;

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[claritatis]

Yes?

text;

[claritatis]

[15 mins later.]

Where are you?